Why I'm Still Kacchan to You
by emplatinum
Summary: Bakugou Katsuki treats everyone with contempt, arrogance and violence, most of all towards his former childhood friend, Izuku. But why is it that he's never stopped Izuku from calling him Kacchan? A point of view from Katsuki, set in canon.


**Disclaimer: Characters and plot are not owned by me.**

 **Warning: Contains some language, rated K+ because I tried to make it as mild as possible, but if you are sensitive to such language please take some caution.**

* * *

When people heard the plain-looking, curly-haired boy call his classmate "Kacchan", they often assumed they were close friends. An assumption that was proven to be dead wrong the next moment as the blond boy, whose hair –mirroring its owner's temper- looked like a mini-explosion, answered using the derogatory nickname "DEKU!" and with a very angry explosion to match.

It wasn't really a surprise that people ended up asking the blond in question why he still let Deku call him that ridiculous-sounding nickname if they weren't even close anymore. And in the first place, why weren't they close anymore? Menacing red eyes glared at them as he gave the same answer every time: he couldn't freaking remember. Also, "WHY THE HELL IS THAT YOUR PROBLEM ANYWAY, YOU LITTLE SHITS?!"

To be honest, Katsuki wished they would really just leave him the hell alone. Every time he got asked that, he would be reminded of what he used to have, and how he didn't have that anymore.

Yes, Katsuki remembered how he and Deku had met, not that he would ever admit it to anybody, not even himself. He remembered that his and Deku's moms had known each other and, delighted that they had sons of the same age, had put them in the same kindergarten.

Somehow, it worked- Katsuki and Deku were already inseparable after the first day.

They had become friends over something stupid, something that only Deku would have the stupidity to do in the first place – Katsuki thought it was when Deku had been the only one willing to share his toys with him. It had been so long that Katsuki couldn't be sure.

It wasn't that Katsuki had been looking for someone to worship him, or someone he could bully. Honestly, Katsuki had never thought of Deku that way... not that anyone would actually believe him if he said it out loud. Deku was just kind of – he didn't know – vulnerable? Innocent? Dumb? Deku had actually dared to make friends with him back in kindergarten and that was already saying something. The younger boy was often quiet but he was always reliable and had Katsuki's back; even when Katsuki got both of them in trouble, he'd still be there. And at the same time, Katsuki really didn't mind having him there, it was like having a little brother follow him around. They just clicked, somehow.

And hey, having someone admiring and looking up to him wasn't so bad either.

 _"Kacchan, what kind of Quirk would complement yours? We'll definitely become the best heroes going around fighting crime together when we grow up… definitely!"_

Katsuki had been waiting for Deku's Quirk to manifest just as eagerly as the curly-haired boy himself. Katsuki had known about his Explosion Quirk for almost a year by then. It was a freaking cool one that would help him become the best hero ever, and for that same year he had been dreaming up Quirks with Deku that would help him become the best sidekick ever. That was the way it was supposed to be, them as hero and sidekick, then and forever.

 _"K-Kacchan… The doctor said… I won't have a Quirk… ever…"_

It had crushed Katsuki when he heard Deku was officially Quirkless. He was hit just as hard – if not harder – by the realisation that the younger boy would never have the makings of a hero, even just a low-ranked hero working by his side as his trusty sidekick.

Katsuki wasn't used to feeling crushed. He didn't know what to feel, exactly, so he turned to the emotion he knew best – anger.

 _"Kacchan, are you alright?"_

Who was Deku to ask if he was alright when he fell into a river? It was just a measly river for goodness' sake, he would have to face _villains_ in the future and an encounter with them wouldn't just leave him cold and sopping wet. But Deku, that idiot who couldn't even make sure he got a Quirk, wanted to know if Katsuki was _alright_? Oh hell no he wasn't alright, because he was apparently friends with this useless brat who thought Katsuki couldn't take care of himself when he himself failed miserably at doing the thing 80% of the freaking population could, _get a Quirk_!

 _"Kacchan, why… why do you keep calling me that?"_

Teary-eyed, Deku stared accusingly at the boy he'd thought was his best friend. But the sheer hostility in Katsuki's glare made him avert his eyes and run away, sobbing freely. He couldn't see Katsuki biting his tongue as he suppressed his urge to call the idiot back and say he was just kidding or something. Deku was so stupid that he'd believe him if Katsuki gave a lame excuse like just wanting to waste less time on calling his name.

But Katsuki had to do it, Deku just had all those stupid and useless dreams of becoming a hero floating in his head even though he was _Quirkless_. Katsuki had to hammer it into Deku's stupid dense head that it was impossible for him to ever become a hero. _Even_ if it meant reminding him of how useless he was every time he called the boy's new nickname.

 _"Kacchan, if you keep going, I'll… **I'll never forgive you!** "_

Katsuki frowned as Deku got into a fighting stance in front of him, stubbornly remaining in front of the lame coward Katsuki had been beating up earlier. The other kid had started it. He'd called Katsuki an egotistical bastard and an arrogant bully! What wrong was there in teaching him a little lesson? Katsuki needed the practice for when he beat up villains in the future, and anyway who did that kid think he was? Calling him names when he was just some _Quirkless_ idiot like Deku?

Then said Quirkless idiot had seen Katsuki's fighting practice and had run over to stop him, while being Quirkless himself! Wasn't it obvious enough for that idiot already? He would _never_ beat Katsuki, he would never ever be strong enough to even come near his level. So why did he always have to challenge Katsuki, as if he _really_ thought he was strong enough to stand up to him?

Anger twisted Katsuki's insides. This stupid puppet just couldn't freaking get it! HE JUST COULDN'T STAY DOWN WHEN HE SHOULD, AND JUST STAY SAFE WHERE HE WAS?

 **WHY COULDN'T DEKU JUST ACCEPT THAT HE COULD NEVER BE A HERO?**

Something snapped in Katsuki, something that released a hot and fiery anger that rushed through his veins, making his palms sweat and his eyes narrow. His lips slowly turned upwards in a smirk. His clenched fists sparked dangerously as he faced down his former best friend. "Even though you're Quirkless…" He punched his fists together, creating a burst of flame and smoke, " _you're pretending to be a hero, **Deku**?_"

Maybe a beating would wake him up from whatever fantasy he was living in.

* * *

"Oh yeah, Midoriya wanted to go to U.A. too, right?" The teacher's words made Katsuki freeze in position on top of his desk. All heads, including his, turned to stare at the unassuming black-haired boy, who currently looked like he was wishing for a hole to appear beneath him and swallow him up.

The next moment, the whole classroom erupted in laughter, ridiculing Deku for his over-ambitious goal and evidently believing that the Quirkless boy was just joking- that is, except for Katsuki. He knew the idiot _all too well_.

If Deku had really written that he was planning to go to U.A., he was going to be dead serious about it.

An all-too-familiar rage sparked within him – why did that useless idiot always have to go and do things like this – things that would never ever work out for him and would only get him hurt and–

" **DEEEKUUU!** " He was launching himself at Deku's desk before he even realised it. The nitroglycerin on his palms ignited on instinct to create an explosion that really was bigger than the school rules should allow, but obviously Katsuki couldn't care less about that right now. "You're below the rejects! You're **Quirkless**! How could you ever stand on the same level as me?!"

"No, wait, Kacchan, it's not like I'm trying to compete with you or anything!" Deku squeaked, frantically backing away with a ridiculously dumb nervous smile on his face before hitting the wall like the idiot that he was. "B-believe me! It's just… it's been my goal since I was little and…" Deku's eyes darted everywhere but the other boy's furious red-eyed gaze, "you, you never know until you… try…"

"Whaddaya mean 'until you try'?" Katsuki couldn't help it; despite his best efforts to hold himself back, his palms started smoking as his anger started heating up his hands. He was only _barely_ able to restrain himself from actually making explosions. For so many years he'd alienated Deku, insulted him, beat him up, reminded him time and time again that he would never make it as a hero and… in the end… Deku had just ignored him all this time?

Was he really that insignificant, that unimportant, that _weak_ that Deku couldn't be bothered to care? "You taking the test for fun or something? You're freaking Quirkless, Deku, don't tell me you actually forgot!"

Did he think the test was just a game? People freaking _got hurt_ during those tests, it usually involved some form of fighting in the entrance tests and there was no way Deku would be able to pass them. So why bother? Why did Deku have to always damn insist on doing stupid stuff, dangerous stuff and _never acknowledge the damn fact that he was a freaking useless QUIRKLESS_!

If they weren't in class right now, Katsuki might've given him a few hard cuffs on the head for even thinking about doing such a stupid thing – no, it was no use, the younger boy had already decided to do it! Katsuki knew there was no stopping that idiot once he had his mind set on something. He forced himself to cool down as he gave Deku one last glare, before snuffing out the smouldering on his palms and roughly dropping back into his seat. He was going to have some words with Deku once school ended.

* * *

Katsuki plucked the book out of Deku's hands and watched those green eyes widen in fear as Deku realised who was standing in front of him.

"We're not done talking yet, Deku." Katsuki was getting tired of always staying back in school to give Deku his daily "you're Quirkless, defenceless and useless" lecture before the damn kid disappeared off to God-knows-where. _Today,_ he was especially irked by the knowledge that all his efforts had gone nowhere. So much for trying to get Deku to realise just how unsuitable being a hero was for him. Deku had gone the other way instead and was trying to prove himself as the stupidest Quirkless who ever lived!

Not that Katsuki needed much more convincing at this point; he was pretty sure that title was already officially Deku's.

"Katsuki, what's that you're holding?" Katsuki wordlessly turned the notebook he'd snatched from Deku such that the two boys behind him could see the cover. He didn't need to look at it to know what it was: one of Deku's stupid Hero Information notebooks, some "preparation for the future" shit. He could hear his two lackeys laughing over it like he'd expected them to, although he himself was feeling much too angry to even consider joining them.

For one, these notebooks were no joke. And by that Katsuki meant that he knew – _he had seen_ – to what lengths Deku went to get information for those notebooks – running right up to the scene of a villain attack to record the characteristics of the heroes who went to fight them. These notebooks represented all that he hated about Deku: his stupid hope that he could actually make it as a Quirkless hero, his complete disregard for his safety, his freaking weakness!

And what was this note-taking shit anyway?! Why the hell would any true hero need some lame notes to defeat villains?! Deku thought he would be able to match up to Katsuki just because he made some fancy-schmancy notes or something?

Did he think his notes could make him equal with a person with an Explosion Quirk, or pretty much anyone who actually _had_ a damn Quirk in the first place, was that it?!

"S-stop it! Give it back…" For once, Katsuki had something to vent his anger on instead of the boy himself. He tightened his grip on that stupid notebook he hated so much and crushed it between his fists, letting his rage ignite a small explosion in his hands. The notebook, much to Katsuki's satisfaction, ended up crisp and nicely charred. Ignoring Deku's cries of protest, he proceeded to throw it out of the window, where he and Deku would hopefully never see its stupid pages again.

"I want the glory of being the only student from this crap school to get into U.A., so I'm warning you, Deku." Katsuki was feeling unexpectedly calmer after getting rid of those dumbass notes, and he decided to go with a milder, more logical approach to kick Deku off his high horse today. He knew it wouldn't make as much as a difference as he would like – damn that idiot's ridiculous stubbornness – but maybe Katsuki's seriousness about what he wanted to achieve, which unlike Deku's lame dreaming was something Katsuki actually _had_ the capability to do, would be a little more convincing.

Katsuki stepped closer to the shorter boy and clasped his shoulder, directing just enough heat to his hand such that Deku's uniform started smoking. Luckily, their uniforms were black so the scorch marks wouldn't show.

"So, I'm just telling ya…" Katsuki grinned, directing all his anger into the most menacing smile he could manage, " _don't apply to U.A., nerd._ "

Deku was silent as Katsuki walked away, satisfied that he had made his point particularly well this time. But he still couldn't quite shake off the remaining anger at the fact that Deku had still been clinging on to those stupid hero dreams - after _all that time_ he'd spent trying to get him to face up to reality. And although he didn't want to admit it – like seriously, a Quirkless like Deku could never even come close to his level – he was strangely annoyed by the fact that Deku had actually, in all his stupidity, thought it possible to apply to U.A.. When obviously the only one in this whole school with even a fraction of a chance to get in was _him_. He was still too bitter about it to let it go, and Katsuki stopped in his tracks and turned to hit the final nail in the coffin.

"If you really want to be a hero, take a dive off the roof and hope you get a Quirk in your next life!"

* * *

He regretted it. Immediately. Regretted it, regretted it, dammit! Why did he go and say something like that to Deku?! But Katsuki kept a straight face, refusing to let those two behind him notice that anything was off. Anyway, it was for Deku's own good! Applying to U.A. and dreaming about being a hero… what about that wasn't equivalent to a suicide for that dumbass?!

And those two bastards had to go rub salt in his wounds. Katsuki grumbled internally as they tried to subtly hint that he had "gone overboard" or something. The hell did they need to care about what he did anyway!

"It's his own fault for getting in my way," the bad-tempered boy growled, venting his frustration on some random bottle on the ground. Geez, couldn't people even clean up after themselves?!

"He's an idiot dreaming like a kid!" Katsuki couldn't forget that "you never know until you try" shit Deku was spouting just now. Like being Quirkless was just some minor obstacle that could be overcome just by the force of magic or something! Just thinking about it, his hand tightened around the drink can he was holding and ignited it, causing a small explosion as he hurled it to the ground. "Just watching him pisses me off!"

At least they tried to calm him down afterwards with the suggestion of going to the arcade, where Katsuki could at least vent his anger on some games and get his mind off that idiot Deku. But all of a sudden, the looks on their faces changed as they pointed to something behind Katsuki's back, visibly shaken.

The ash-blond boy turned to see something he certainly didn't expect – what seemed to be a humongous grey-green slime monster slithering towards him…

* * *

"I'm not going to get beaten by some slimy sewage!"

Katsuki sure as hell meant it, too, as he shouted and struggled with the force of all his overflowing anger. He was suffocating – the slime villain was constricting him, binding his limbs, and he felt as if there were heavy weights pressing down on his chest and against his back.

He couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't escape…

…but this lump of trash was dead wrong if it thought he would go down without a fight! Katsuki thought, his rage boiling over at the mere suggestion of it. First the shit about Deku applying to U.A., then this slimy goo deciding to use him as some cloak or something, his day was total crap today and it pissed him off to no end! Explosions went off in his palms repeatedly as he fired off explosion after explosion, trying to aim his hands at the body of the villain but utterly failing.

Damn! He wasn't that weak, was he? He would become a great hero in the future! How the hell was he going to do that if he couldn't even get out of this pile of slime…! He could feel himself weakening; even if he never ran out of anger, his physical stamina was starting to take a hit from his constant struggle against the villain, who was trying to get in his mouth for some disgusting reason.

What was taking so long anyway – _shouldn't there be a hero coming to save me soon?_

He couldn't keep the slime off his face anymore- the goo was forcing its way onto his mouth, and he struggled to breathe. Now it was only his eyes – his eyes were the only thing outside the villain, and he looked around frantically, for anything that could help him… save him… anything…

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" A voice…. A voice Katsuki would know anywhere. His eyes widened as he took in the very familiar figure of a short boy, dressed in gakuran uniform and with curly black hair sticking up messily on his head, running towards him. It was only now that Katsuki suddenly realised the situation around him – there were fires everywhere, inadvertently started by his own Quirk, shattered glass and mauled buildings, not to mention this slime villain bastard…

 _Deku?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!_

 **"LET, HIM, GO!"** The suicidal Quirkless screamed. The oversized yellow bag he always carried came flying towards Katsuki and hit somewhere above him, spilling its contents in the process. The villain flinched and loosened his hold on Katsuki. Suddenly he could breathe again; although the air smelled of smoke and had an acrid stench, Katsuki gulped it down like it was fresher than a mountain spring.

"KACCHAN!" Deku was hysterical now, clawing at the fluid tentacles of the villain that still held Katsuki captive, "Kacchan, I'll get you out of there, Kacchan!"

"Deku…" Katsuki was very much inclined to just open his mouth and start spewing expletives at the crazy idiot. Least of all tell him to _GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE!_ He was freaking Quirkless and he was going to freaking _die_!

All that time he had told Deku to stop dreaming and give it up! And now Deku was literally acting the hero and trying to save him – it angered him to no end, especially Deku's extremely suicidal tendencies, as he managed to mutter as furiously as he could: "Why are you here – I don't need your help–!"

"B-because, Kacchan…" Deku didn't stop trying to reach Katsuki instead of running away. His former best friend forced the most stupid smile Katsuki had ever seen on his face: "You looked like you were asking for help…"

Katsuki's insides twisted. Who was Deku to decide whether he needed help or not? Hell, Deku was probably the _least qualified_ person to even make that damn statement, much less act on it! And what the hell did that have to do with Deku running in here to prove his status as the most suicidal Quirkless in living history?! Did he really think Katsuki was so weak that he needed _Deku_ to risk his life to save him? No bloody chance!

The slime villain was already recovering from Deku's surprise attack – if such a thing could've even been called an attack in the first place – and was now reaching his tentacles around Katsuki and towards Deku, too. No! Katsuki wouldn't allow himself to become the reason for Deku to get caught, or die… Why did Deku have to be so stupid all the time? WHY?!

 **"DETRIOT SMAAAAASH!"**

It all happened in a matter of seconds: an unbelievably enormous force blowing past him and a gentle warm grip around him. After that, the ground below him, the coolness of raindrops on his face, and the icy freshness of the wind. In his daze, Katsuki vaguely registered that his childhood idol, All Might, was standing right beside him, and his former childhood friend lay safely on his left.

It was all over.

They had been saved.

* * *

"DEKU!" Katsuki yelled, finally stopping to catch his breath as the younger boy turned towards him. Hell, who knew pro heroes were such nags, telling him to register with their agency and saying some stuff about his Quirk or other… stuff he couldn't really be bothered about right then. He couldn't concentrate on whatever-it-was anyway as he watched Deku conversely get scolded by other pro heroes for his suicidal act. Deku deserved it, of course, that Katsuki agreed wholeheartedly on.

But Katsuki couldn't get rid of that strange slimy feeling of uselessness – he wasn't even able to save himself, let alone protect that suicidal bastard that had, Katsuki admitted, helped him… For once in his life, Katsuki started doubting himself and his abilities.

But this wasn't the time for that, Katsuki told himself as he faced the person who had tried (and failed terribly) to save him.

"Kacchan?" Deku looked at him the same way he used to when they were children, that innocent and trusting look that Katsuki had missed… and for that very same reason, hated.

"I never asked for your help!" Katsuki growled, for some reason finding that he couldn't look at Deku in the eye. "And you didn't help me! Got it? You're just a Quirkless failure playing without a full deck of cards!" Katsuki gritted his teeth, "Don't you dare look down at me!"

He couldn't even face Deku at this point, turning back around in the opposite direction.

"You damn nerd…!"

He really hoped that this stupid incident wouldn't encourage the stupid idiot to think he was really hero material or something, or the next time something happened… Katsuki didn't want to think about it. Even today, if All Might hadn't come when he had, Katsuki wasn't sure if Deku would've survived.

And the fact that Deku had gone to save him…! What the hell was Deku even trying to do? Prove that he was better than Katsuki, and he was capable of being a hero? Katsuki was almost too worn-out to be angry anymore, but he could still find the energy to be pissed at Deku somehow – that bastard never learned, and now… it unsettled him, this insecurity he'd never felt before. The feeling that for once, Deku had done something he wasn't able to: he had at least broken the villain's concentration for a moment while Katsuki was just useless…

And the fact that they had gone up against something that was more of a threat to Deku than Katsuki himself…

Katsuki closed his eyes. He couldn't get it out of his mind – _"Kacchan, I'll get you out of there, Kacchan!"_ – somehow, even after all this time, Deku was still so absurdly _concerned_ about him. Even when he had purposely distanced himself from the Quirkless boy to stop stringing him along in his dreams of becoming a hero, to protect him if his work ever put the people around him in danger.

 _"Kacchan?"_

That nickname. It was so stupid… so childish. A habit Katsuki should have told Deku to stop much earlier, but he just couldn't find it in his heart to.

It was just… the only thing left from happier times, when Katsuki didn't doubt himself and Izuku at all. When they were just Kacchan and Izuku, and they both wanted to become heroes to fight for justice and protect the people they loved.

 _That's why I'm still Kacchan to you._

 _Because I think I never stopped caring, and I always hoped you still cared for me, too._

 _Even after all this time…_

(Not that Kacchan would ever admit it.)

* * *

 **AND IT'S DONE!** **Please review!** **I love reviews. ^-^"**...

 **This thing is all touchy-feely stuff written from Bakugou's point of view, really the focus is on Explosion Boy's emotions, the plot is pretty much the exact same as in the anime.**

 **Ever since I started watching My Hero Academia, I've always wondered why Bakugou just lets Izuku walk around calling him Kacchan all the time. I mean, for someone who apparently wants to show that he hates Izuku's guts to the core, why would he let Izuku continue calling him something as embarrassing as Kacchan? It's like Bakugou still wants to have that as a reminder of who they once were or something.**

 **For me, I've always thought at first, Bakugou really just wanted Izuku to be safe and just got really angry when it seemed to him that Izuku just didn't care that Bakugou was worried about him. But they were kids, and Bakugou has always had a bad temper from the start, so the worry that Bakugou felt ended up as violence. And then it just got worse from there.**

 **But anyway, I really wanted to write a slightly twisted version of reality in which this was actually true, it's up to you whether you want to see this as a real concept or just my wishful thinking (to be honest, even I think it's just wishful thinking, ouch.)**

 **Hope y'all liked it! I'm considering writing more Bakugou and Deku incidents in Explosion Boy's POV, or maybe in Deku's POV but with the same sentiment, not sure if I'll really bother though, what do y'all think?**

 **This might be re-updated or edited a few times when I go through it again and change stuff.**


End file.
